The Road Rage Files – Chapter 18

SPECIAL GUEST CONTRIBUTOR –

MY BROTHER DANNY, DALLAS TEXAS

So I’m driving to work on Tuesday morning….It’s rainy. The roads are slick. People are driving 20 MPH below the speed limit.

Everything was hunky dory until I get about 3/4 of a mile from my office building. I am in the slow lane on a road where the speed limit is 45 MPH. I am going around 42 to 45 MPH.

All of a sudden, a lady pulls directly in front of me, RUNNING A RED LIGHT, about 20 feet in front of me, and basically STOPS. I say “basically” because she was going about 5 MPH on a 45 MPH road. Was she “SLEEP DRIVING”? Was she “COLOR BLIND”? Is she from another PLANET where “RED” means, “Go as fast as you can with little to no regard for anyone around you”? My vote was for: ALL OF THE ABOVE.

So, as any normal person would do, I needed to either JAM my brakes on a wet road to avoid rear ending her (and of course it would be MY fault if that happened), or change lanes quickly.

So, I checked my rear view mirror, checked my side view mirror, checked my blind spot TWICE, put on my signal to change lanes, and all of a sudden, a CRAZY LUNATIC IN A MINIVAN going about 65 MPH, immediately got into the lane I wanted to get into, and honked her horn at me for about 30 seconds straight.

Well, I couldn’t get into that lane AND was quickly accelerating towards the SNAIL LADY in front of me (keep in mind this all happened in a 20 foot space), so all I could do was JAM my brakes in the rain. so I JAMMED, the BRAKES LOCKED UP, I braced for impact, thinking I am going to NAIL the SNAIL LADY, and somehow, luckily, MIRACULOUSLY, I did NOT HIT HER!!

Well, rather than count my blessings, the Irish Filipino in me came out and I immediately became very angry. So much so that I did NOT make a right to go into the parking lot of my office. I INSTEAD made a left and pulled into the parking lot of TJ MAXX directly across the street.

I was so mad that all of this happened, that I jammed on my accelerator, and turned my wheel all the way to one side, which caused my back wheels to spin and hydroplane. This manuever is referred to as a DONUT, and that’s precisely what I did. I spun in a circle at 7:20am CT in the parking lot of….TJ MAXX.

Afterwards, I briskly went to my office parking lot, parked my car, and got started on my day.

So to summarize: drove to work, snail lady pulled in front of me doing 5 in a 45, minivan crazy person almost side swiped me, got mad, pulled into empty TJ MAXX parking lot, did a donut to relive frustration, went to work.

And there is MY very first ROAD RAGE FILE!

Danny