Category: Humor

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Driving Humor Weather

Monday Night Countdown

This week on the ‘Countdown’ I’ve got the TOP 5 South Florida ‘Traffic & Weather Together’ lessons learned over the past 21½ years:

5.  ‘Partly Sunny’, ‘Partly Cloudy’, ‘Mostly Sunny’, ‘Mostly Cloudy’, and ‘Fair’ are all distinctly different, and if you have perhaps an hour of spare time over Dinner I can explain all of this to you. Just promise that you won’t fall asleep on me.

4.  Roughly 8 out of every 10 drivers on the road will blow through stop signs and red lights, and just sit there for at least 5 seconds after the light turns green. The protected green arrow light means absolutely nothing to the same 8 motorists.

3.  Just because there’s a flash flood with streets under a foot of water at home does not mean that a single drop of rain has fallen at work. Also if it’s pouring down rain but the sky nearby is sunny and clear then that’s pretty much normal.

2.  ALL traffic laws do not apply to Miami-Dade County school buses. They are allowed to drive as fast as they wish, and they may tailgate you at their discretion. They also have the right-of-way no matter what, so if they turn right in front of you then simply slam your brakes on to avoid dying in a firey collision and inferno.

1.  Every new hurricane season is going to be the worst one ever seen and recorded since the existence of mankind, but you should never ever panic. Just be warned that South Florida may be completely destroyed by every single tropical wave that forms off the west coast of Africa.

This Street Sign Would Not Work Here In America's Riviera
This Street Sign Would Not Work Here In America's Riviera

I hope that you enjoyed that. Be sure to check out my ‘Tuesday Night Grab Bag O’ Thoughts’ tomorrow night – same blog time – same blog station. Until then – keep it real homies.

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History Humor People Radio Television

Saturday Morning Shenanigans / Saturday Night Retro Mash-Up

If you were to ask me who are my favourite comedians I could probably give you a list that stretches for as far as the eye can see because comedy is my thing. I love to laugh. A smile turns in to a giggle that turns in to a chuckle that turns in to a laugh. If the laugh is hard enough then it morphs in to a full-blown crack-up. Some crack-ups are mild while others are severe. 😆

If you were to ask me who is my favourite comedian in the entire history of comedy as I know it (even from before I was born) then there is only one true answer my friends – Jack Benny. He’s my all-time favourite comedian from vaudeville, radio, and television. I’ve listened to hundreds of his original radio shows from the 1930s, 1940s, and 1950s, as well as his television shows from the 1950s into the 1960s. He’s my favourite entertainer in the entire history of entertainment. Nobody will ever come close … EVER !

Jack Benny (1894-1974)
Jack Benny (1894-1974)

And so this week I’m combining ‘Saturday Morning Shenanigans’ with ‘Saturday Night Retro’. The following 7-minute cartoon recently celebrated its 50TH anniversary. It was released on April 04TH 1959. My little brother actually discovered it for me way back during the early-1980s when he saw it on TV, and he recognized it as something that was nearly identical to what I was listening to on the radio and on tape at the time.

This – my friends – is ‘The Mouse That Jack Built‘ – the animated version of ‘The Jack Benny Program’. I present it to you for your ‘Saturday Morning Shenanigans’ and ‘Saturday Night Retro’ review, and for my ultimate entertainment enjoyment forever and ever.

Categories
Driving Humor

Sunday Night Funnies

A friend sent this to me via E-Mail:

get-out-of-the-car

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Driving Food Health Humor Shopping Weather

Saturday Morning Shenanigans

‘The Major’s Walk-A-Thon’ has once again been pre-empted this weekend due to non-ideal weather conditions (70°F, 100% relative humidity, scattered fog). Time is practically running out on this season’s walks around my neighbourhood, but maybe I’ll be able to squeeze in one more walk on a Saturday morning before it gets too unbearably warm, humid, and wet outside.

In lieu of the walk I did the following this morning:

1.  Cracker Barrel – I ate breakfast. The Shenanigans there included me being served by a different waitress even though my longtime breakfast waitress of the past many years was there working her shift. She came over and talked to me and told me a riddle. It was good to see her.

2.  Busy Bee Car Wash – I’ve taken 4 cars there over the course of the past 20 years (since 1989), and I’ve always gotten a clean car out of the deal. They do a very thorough job inside and outside. I truly recommend them. The’re in Perrine at theoretical SW 182ND Street at U.S. 1 (southbound).

3.  Target – I go there about once every 3 or 4 months, and I usually go on an extended shopping spree while I’m there. This morning was no different, and it was a mixed assortment of food, toiletries, and clothes. I like to go there when they first open up in the morning and there’s less people in my way. It started getting crowded towards the latter part of my shopping spree.

I ended up driving about 35 miles during my eating, car washing, and shopping excursion this morning. During much of the 35 miles I was either being tailgated, or I was stuck behind a slow-moving vehicle in front of me. I couldn’t wait to get off of the streets and back into my home sweet home this morning.

Those are my ‘Saturday Morning Shenanigans’ for this weekend. Be sure to check out 1979 on the ‘Saturday Night Retro’ tonight, and get ready to dance to some pop music of the times.

Until then – I leave you with one final Shenanigan, so REMEMBER THIS !

no-service