Category: Humor

Sunday Scripture

~ Chris M. Day

This weekend it’s something a little bit different. I’m a big fan and regular reader of “The Babylon Bee” – a satirical web site mostly on Christianity and Politics. It’s been around for almost 4 years. They are also on Facebook and Twitter.

A couple of nights ago they reran a classic post from 2 years ago. I loved it the first time. I loved it the next time. I loved it again. Check it out:

https://babylonbee.com/news/pastors-pulpit-says-theology

Recently as part of a major remodeling project of our church sanctuary (new stage, new lighting, new carpet, new chairs, new paint) I was asked to select a brand new pulpit for my use. (Our Lead Pastor doesn’t use the pulpit. He preaches on both sides of it, and in front of it, but never at it.)

I picked-out a really nice plexiglass pulpit, and it was purchased, and I use it every week. I love it. (You can see my reflection in it taking a picture of it.)

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Well apparently The Babylon Bee says that (because of my pulpit) I’m transparent (yes), and I’m vulnerable (yes). Oh yeah – and my theology is lightweight. (OK – I’ll take that one too.)

I essentially preach what I know. I don’t try to preach above my knowledge and skills level. I don’t try to preach like anyone else. I just preach on my 13 years of salvation, and I compare it with my 39 years of life before Christ. I preach a lot on repentance and salvation. I preach on the God that I’ve known since 2006. So yeah you can see right through my sermons. I testify and preach. (That was actually the title of an early sermon of mine from 2017 – “Testify & Preach”.)

All of my sermon titles are two words separated by an ampersand. I’m currently working on two sermons for the next couple of months – “Ways & Memes”, and “Habakkuk & Forth”.

As for the NLT – um – well – guilty as charged !  #BushLeague

Preach the Word of God. Be prepared – whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching. (2 Timothy 4:2 NLT)

All rights reserved (c) 2019 Christopher M. Day, CountUp Ministries

Bear With Me

~ Chris M. Day

Happy Thursday night. A new weekend has arrived, and I’m looking forward to it. Tomorrow (Friday) night I’ll go #Retro with my Top 5 hits from exactly 20 years ago on Sunday July 12TH 1998. Then on Sunday I’ll share Scripture with you, and finally on Monday it’s my brand new Top 10 personal hit music chart.

But as for tonight it’s something simple – just a goofy photo of me and a bear – from inside a souvenir store on Clifton Hill in Niagara Falls Ontario Canada.

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The Major’s Weekend Blast-Off

~ Chris M. Day

WELCOME to the historic 20TH edition of my ‘Weekend Blast-Off’ – sponsoured by the state of Texas. Everything’s BIGGER in Texas !

WEEKEND GRAB BAG O’ THOUGHT:
Yesterday afternoon I flew the friendly skies of 30,000 feet above sea level via American Airlines from MIA to DFW. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to get on the airplane early (as in Group 1) since (for whatever reason) I always seem to be part of the unfortunate last Group to board. I’ve learned that the various Group numbers have absolutely nothing to do with where you are seated within the aircraft. When I checked in at MIA I had the chance to pay an extra $9 to be upgraded to Group 1. I mulled it over for a short little while, and then I decided to do it. That $9 upgrade essentially got me on the airplane and in my assigned seat a good 10 minutes earlier than I would have without the upgrade. Was $9 worth 10 minutes ?  I think so. One of the most annoying things for me (besides the inevitable sick person behind me that coughs and sneezes all throughout the flight) is the long wait to get to my assigned seat on the airplane as 75% to 90% of the rest of the passengers watch on from their assigned seat. I always think to myself, ‘Must be nice to be sitting down as I wait standing in this aisle as people try to squeeze their oversized suitcases into the limited-space overhead compartments.’ There are certain things that I won’t pay for inflight. I won’t pay $5 for a couple of cookies or a ‘snack pack’. I won’t pay $90 for an upgrade to First Class. Well maybe I’d think about it, but is it really worth an extra $90 for some snacks, unlimited drinks, and a few extra inches of elbow room ?  I probably will pay the extra $9 for the upgrade to Group 1 in the future just to avoid the long line that stretches from the coach section of the airplane clear back into the terminal waiting area. Pet Peeve Eliminated.

BEST LUNCH OF THE WEEK AWARD:
My final pit stop before leaving Homestead on Thursday morning was at the Longhorn Steakhouse – my Lunch home away from home. My favourite greeter was there. My favourite waittress was there. My favourite table was there. My usual meal was there, but this time I also enjoyed a complimentary salad to go along with it. It was surprisingly delicious with blue cheese dressing on it. It was one of the better salads that I’ve enjoyed in quite some time.

THE FORTUNE COOKIE MESSAGE OF THE WEEK CLUB:
– People rise to your expectations.
– Prosperity belongs to those who can learn new things the fastest.

BROTHER & NIECE PHOTO OPP. OF THE MONTH CLUB:
Here’s my brother and 7-month-old niece at our Mom’s house in Fairview TX. See if you can spot the plumber in the background fixing the kitchen sink.


THOSE CRAZY CRAZY CATS:

BLATANT PROMOTION:
TOMORROW on my ‘Saturday Night Retro’ I’m flashing back over 30 years ago back to the late-1970s. Then on Sunday morning it’s a fresh new Texas edition of ‘The Major’s Walk-A-Thon’. TONIGHT for Dinner The Day Family is eating out – Italian-style – at a joint called Patrizio. We’re goin’ grocery shopping on Saturday morning, and we’ll be selecting our Butterball Turkey. Don’t forget that you can follow me on Twitter online anytime @majorhitwaves. Have a wonderful weekend my friends. Make it special. Make it memorable.

The Major’s Weekend Blast-Off

~ Chris M. Day ~ 1 Comment

WEEKEND GRAB BAG O’ THOUGHT:
November has arrived. Winter has arrived here in South Florida. The cool and dry weather is finally here. It will actually be a cold Saturday with wind chills starting out near 40°F at sunrise. We’ll be stuck in the 60s all day long with wind chills in the 50s at times. This brief cold snap will stick around until about 12 noon on Monday, and then a rapid warm-up begins. 80°F temperatures return on Tuesday afternoon. This is also the weekend in which we ‘fall back’ an hour, as we say ‘good-bye’, ‘so long’, ‘adios’, and ‘get out of here’ to Daylight Saving Time. It’s done and over with at 2 AM on Sunday morning as we return to Standard Time. That’s my favourite time of the year – the real time zone. Everything just seems right when the Sun rises before 7 AM and sets before 6 PM. That’s just the way it’s supposed to be. I wish we stayed on Standard Time all year long. In a perfect world Daylight Saving Time would be abolished !

BEST LUNCH OF THE WEEK AWARD:
This past Wednesday I enjoyed Lunch at Red Lobster, and it was all over after that. I was cheerfully greeted at the front door by my regular greeter, and I was enthusiastically served at my regular table by my regular waitress. It’s like a home away from home for me. I belong. The food was hot and delicious as usual. I enjoyed a Caesar salad, the Crunch-Fried Fish, the Fried Bay Scallops, and a couple of melt-in-my-mouth Cheddar Bay Biscuits. I’ll be back for more sometime next week !

PUMPKIN DAY PHOTO OPPORTUNITY OF THE MONTH CLUB:
This picture was taken this afternoon by my brother in Fairview Texas.

Pumpkin - The Day Family Feline

THOSE CRAZY CRAZY CATS:

BLATANT PROMOTION:
25 years ago this weekend I flew from Northern Virginia to London England to begin 2 years of my young life in a foreign country. Tomorrow on my ‘Saturday Night Retro’ I’ll look back at that first month of living in the U.K., and I’ll feature the music video of one of my favourite rock songs of that month (and year). During the day tomorrow (Saturday) I’ll be out and about on Miami Beach enjoying the South Florida International Auto Show. I’m also planning to spend some quality time with the animals over at Jungle Island. It’s gonna be a great weekend here in South Florida to take advantage of the great outdoors, so let’s get to it. Be safe. Be smart. Love all.

The Major’s Weekend Blast-Off

~ Chris M. Day ~ 1 Comment

WEEKEND GRAB BAG O’ THOUGHT:
25 years ago today a young 18-year-old version of me woke up bright and early a couple of hours before daybreak, checked-out of my dorm room, packed up my first car – a beige 1980 Chevy Citation – and embarked on the longest road-trip of my life (at that point). It was a 700+ mile trip eastbound along I-70 from Chanute AFB Illinois (next to Rantoul) through Indiana, Ohio, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, Maryland, and Virginia to my destination – McLean Virginia. It was a long-awaited homecoming for me after being away for 4½ months at USAF Basic Training and Tech School. It was great to see my family (including my lovable cat Fluffy) after being away for such a long time for the first time in my entire life. I got to celebrate Halloween with my 10-year-old little brother at the time. I walked with him as he went trick-or-treating all throughout our neighbourhood – visiting many of my former customers from my newspaper carrier years. After 4½ months I was all grown up and in the Air Force. My military leave was short-lived though. 10 days later I was on my way overseas to my first permanent duty station in Great Britain. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the New Year would all be celebrated in a foreign land away from home.

BEST LUNCH OF THE WEEK AWARD:
Longhorn Steakhouse wins this week’s award (yet again). I enjoyed another spectacular Lunch there today. Coming in 2ND place for the week is a brand new joint that me and some coworker friends discovered for the first time on Thursday. We enjoyed a nice Mexican Lunch at El Santo Coyote – located on U.S. 1 in Princeton at theoretical SW 261ST Street. They made their own homemade salsa right there at our table as we watched. I ordered one of their combination plates consisting of a taco, a burrito, and an enchilada with golden rice and refried beans. It was all delicious, but service was a bit on the slow side. I still recommend it though, and I’ll go back again when I’m not in a hurry to get back to work.

FORTUNE COOKIE MESSAGE OF THE WEEK CLUB:
– Plan a vacation with loved ones.

TAYLOR LESLEY DAY MEASUREMENTS OF THE MONTH CLUB:

My gorgeous niece turned 6-months-old last week. She now weighs in at over 17 pounds, and she’s 26 inches in length. I last saw her about 4 months ago, and I get to see her again in just 20 days !  She smiles a lot because she’s happy !  😀

THOSE SCARY SCARY CATS:

BLATANT PROMOTION:
Tomorrow night on the blog it’s another fresh new edition of my venerable ‘Saturday Night Retro’ as I flashback to Halloween nights of the past. I’ll also feature the Bobby ‘Boris’ Pickett classic from 48 years ago – “The Monster Mash”. Then on Sunday the treats continue with another new blog post – ‘Halloween Night Shenanigans’. Be sure to check that one out after you’re all done trick-or-treating. In-between all of the blogs it’s all of my tweets @majorhitwaves. Have a wonderful weekend my friends. Have fun. Be safe.

The Major’s Weekend Blast-Off

~ Chris M. Day

WEEKEND GRAB BAG O’ THOUGHT:
It’s the 22ND day of October of 2010, and the start of the 4TH weekend of the 10TH month of the year. Every day on this fantastic journey is a celebration of my new Life, but a special celebration always occurs right around the 20TH of every month. It was right around the 20TH of August of 2006 that I discovered CALL-FM on the radio. In a ‘God Wink‘ moment (looking back in hindsight) I eventually realized that God used my love of loud music to bring me closer to Him. That was 50 months ago this week. 5 months after my salvation I was a 1ST-Time Guest at Life Pointe Church in Homestead Florida as I went public with my newfound faith. It’s been a whirlwind 45 months living Life with my church family, and a wild and crazy 50 months following my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. And the countup continues !

BEST LUNCH OF THE WEEK AWARD:
It was a real close call, as this was a rare week in which I ate at both Longhorn Steakhouse and Red Lobster. They were the bookends of my busy Lunch week  with Longhorn on Monday, Red Lobster today, and Chinese food, a Publix sub, and KFC hot wings in-between. This week’s award winner is … Red Lobster !  I had a new hostess greet me at the front door as well as a new waitress serve me at my table. They were both wonderful. The food – as usual – was scrumptious. I enjoyed a Caesar salad, two Cheddar Bay biscuits, the Garlic Crab-And-Shrimp Pasta, and for dessert – the Warm Apple Crumble à la Mode. I diggity-dig !  😀

FORTUNE COOKIE MESSAGE OF THE WEEK CLUB:
– You must let go of something before you can capture it for good.

MOVIE I MOST WISH TO SEE THIS WEEKEND:
“My Soul To Take”

THOSE CRAZY CRAZY CATS:

BLATANT PROMOTION:
This Saturday night on my ‘Retro’ I’m flashing back 33 years ago to the Summer of 1977 when I turned 10-years-old. Next Saturday night it’s a special Halloween edition of the ‘Retro’ featuring “The Monster Mash”. Be sure to check out the fun here on the blog. Don’t forget that you can follow me on Twitter all week long to see what I’m up to. Have a safe and enjoyable weekend my friends !