Author: Chris M. Day

I'm almost 59 years old. I've been online for 33 years - starting with my own dial-up bulletin board system in 1993 - and continuing with AOL, my own dot.com web site, Myspace, WordPress, Twitter / X, Flickr, and Facebook.

Categories
Animals Blogging Food Movies Travel

The Major’s Walk-A-Thon: Special On-Location Edition – Monkey Jungle

My scheduled trip down to Key West and back was cancelled for today and postponed until another day, so what’s a dude to do once he’s cleared out his entire Saturday schedule to get out and do something fun ?

I went to Monkey Jungle !  Here are my takeaways in 15 words or less:

– This is now an annual visit treat.
– I was last there 59 Saturdays ago in January of 2008.
– Here’s what I wrote about my adventures back then.
– I got there a few minutes before they officially opened for business.
– I was the first tourist through the gate.
– I love to hang out with the monkeys.
– I think of House Of Pain’s “Jump Around” when I watch them do their thang.
– Mei is my favourite 23-year-old orangutan.
– She was more active this morning than she was 59 weeks ago.
– She has a few tricks up her hairy sleeves.
– She knows sign language.
– She has the same amount of hair as you and me.
– Her hair is obviously longer and thicker than ours.
– She loves her veggies.
– My buddy King – the Western Lowland Gorilla – was up next.
– He’s 40-years-old now, and he seemed more active today too.
– He loves to watch TV and dance to old rock songs.
– He’s just like me.
– He likes to sleep in the shade.
– He doesn’t like to get wet in the rain.
– He enjoyed a previous life in the 1970s as part of a circus act.
– Once again – just like me !  (Just kidding.)
– I enjoyed my two-hour stay at the Jungle of the Monkeys.
– I’ll be back again next year.
– After there I went to Southland Mall.
– It’s the southernmost indoor shopping mall in the continental U.S.
– I walked around the mall for about a half an hour.
– I finally saw the award-winning box office smash “Slumdog Millionaire“.
– I nearly saw it last Christmas before anyone even knew much about it.
– It was a very good movie.
– It deserved all of its critical acclaim.
– After the movie I ate at the all-new Buffalo Wild Wings.
– Wings & Wedges dude – that’s what it’s all about !
– That’s what I did today in lieu of my trip to Key West.
– Be sure to stick around for an all-new ‘Saturday Night Retro’ !
– It’s comin’ up later tonight here on the big green blog.

Categories
Blogging

Friday Night Blogroll Review

This is how we do it:

Sometimes it just takes a simple picture. This week’s ‘Major Bloggie Award‘ goes to Travis for his snapshot of the Sun rising over Seoul South Korea. It’s an instant classic !

Blake is hangin’ out with Ritz and a drum set.

P.J. loves his guns.

Jesse reports on his final four days in Cambodia.

Say hello to a new Mark.

So yeah Ritz is like catchin’ up with old friends and stuff on Facebook and hangin’ out with part-time blogger Rebecca at the Starbucks. That’s how he rolls.

With Ms. Annie it’s all about worship.

Young Pastor Nathan allegedly has grey hair, and he’s willing to so give it all up for charity – before it’s too late.

Gary and Revolution Church got ‘Unleashed’ this Thursday.

Categories
Blogging Career Driving Internet Money Travel Weather

Thursday Night Mini Thoughts

– Let’s do this thing – in 15 words or less.
– This is the express version of the ‘Tuesday Night Grab Bag O’ Thoughts’.
– It’s sort of like the VH1 ‘Pop-Up Video’ of my blog.
– My buddy Phil also posts ‘Thoughts’ on a Thursday.
– This week he discusses guns and food.
– I last shot a gun in 1992.
– I had to shoot an M16 annually while in the Air Force.
– I never quite understood why.
– Today was a crazy day at work – in a good way.
– I could not have planned the events of the day as they occurred.
– I prefer carefully-scheduled days rather than chaos galore.
– It’s really arid extra dry outside.
– There’s no end in sight.
– We’ve only had about two inches of rain over the past five months.
– We need another Tropical Storm Fay.
– She gave us four-and-a-half inches of rain in two days last August.
– She single-handedly ended our last drought.
– My dear friend Ela thought I actually wrote yesterday’s ‘Bible Stories’.
– It was a copy and paste job.
– A friend sent it to me via E-Mail.
– It’s been widely circulated on the Internet for awhile now.
– Here’s one version of it here.
– Tomorrow is Friday.
– I totally dig Friday.
– The weekend starts for me on Friday (afternoon).
– This Saturday morning me and some friends are riding to Key West.
– Once there we’re gonna so be tourists on bikes.
– I last drove down there at the end of December 2006.
– I’ve been there via cruise ship more so than via car.
– I’ll be back there again via cruise ship this September.
– I wouldn’t turn down this fun day with my friends for anything !
– I filed my income tax return online last Saturday afternoon.
– I’m getting back the biggest refund in history !
– Thank You President George W. Bush !

Categories
God Humor

Bible Stories

Through The Eyes Of A Child:  The Childrens’ Bible In A Nutshell

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, ‘The Lord thy God is one’, but I think He must be a lot older than that.

Anyway, God said, ‘Give me a light !’, and someone did. Then God made the world.

He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren’t embarrassed because mirrors hadn’t been invented yet.

Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn’t have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.

Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.

One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh’s people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.

God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments.

These include:  Don’t lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor’s stuff. Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more:  Humor thy father and thy mother.

One of Moses’ best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.

After Joshua came David. He got to be King by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn’t sound very wise to me.

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don’t have to worry about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament.. Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn.

(I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, ‘Close the door !  Were you born in a barn ?’ It would be nice to say, ‘As a matter of fact, I was.’)

During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Democrats.

Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount.

But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn’t stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.

Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.