Categories
God

Life Pointe Church Sunday Morning Tossed Salad

1.  If you’re looking for a good solid wrap-up of the goings-on of Life Pointe Church in Homestead Florida this morning then don’t look here. I wasn’t there. Neither was Travis, Kelly, Kourtney, McKenna, Blake, Alex, Ritz, or Gio. In fact they were all with me here:

Life Pointe Church - Plantation Key
Life Pointe Church - Plantation Key

2.  It’s the brand new Plantation Key campus of Life Pointe Church – located exactly 38.5 miles southwest of my home in Homestead. Get ready for our official launch at this exciting new campus at 5 PM EST on Sunday November 09TH 2008. We’re gonna do a dry run of the 5 PM service on the Sunday before that (November 02ND), so be sure to check that out as well. I envision the devil hurriedly packing his bags and moving out of town once the Life Pointe crew takes over the joint. I envision a packed house for God on both of those Sundays and every Sunday from that point forward. A lot of people in that neighbourhood simply do not know Jesus Christ. I know this because I used to hang out in this area occasionally before I met Him myself. We’re gonna make it super easy for residents of Plantation Key and Key Largo to be introduced to The Lord Almighty.

3.  Pastor Travis led a 10:30 AM service at our Plantation Key campus this morning, and it was deja vu as we were back in ‘the dip’ again. We were back with Habakkuk in the Old Testament, and we were reminded that we should listen, write, and wait. God’s delays are not his denials. We must avoid the proud (Habakkuk 2:4), the arrogant (2:5), the thieves (2:6), the murderers (2:8), the cheaters (2:9), the corrupt (2:12), the drunkards (2:15), the destructionists (2:17), and the false idols (2:19). Three words – ‘BUT THE LORD’. But the Lord is in his Holy Temple. Let all the earth be silent before him. (2:20)

Categories
History Home Life Television Travel

Saturday Night Retro

Last Saturday night we flashed back 35 years ago to 1973. This week I’m taking you even further back – on a trip to 1969.

As the year began I was 18 months old and beginning to walk alone – without braces (apparently due to pigeon toe / curved feet). I started the year in Selma Alabama (where I was born), but then we moved to Greenbelt Maryland (very near NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center). We lived in the brand new Chelsea Wood rental apartment complex on Greenbelt Road. 40 years later that apartment complex still stands, but they are now condominiums (privately owned). It looks exactly the same today (at least on the outside) as it did all of those years ago.

Chelsea Wood, Greenbelt Maryland
Chelsea Wood, Greenbelt Maryland

We lived in a first-floor unit, and I remember an early birthday party for me with a bunch of the local toddlers that was held right out front of our apartment building in the lush grassy area.

One of my lifelong wishes before it’s too late is to return to the Prince Georges County Maryland region of the Washington D.C. area for a few days. I’d like to spend some quality time retracing the early years of my life through the various neighbourhoods and communities that I lived in and spent a lot of time in for 11 years in Greenbelt, Bowie, Glenn Dale, Lanham, Seabrook, New Carrollton, and Riverdale. After all it was there where the trunk of my life was developed.

I’ve stated before that my childhood was for the most part forgettable and downright miserable; however, it wasn’t all a blur, and it wasn’t all bad either. There were a lot of good times that I experienced during those early years of my life, and I remember much of them to this day. Perhaps it was the good times that I have purposely chosen to remember after all of these years. 

As a curious two-year-old toddler living in my apartment with my Mom and Dad I remember getting bathed in the kitchen sink. I also remember watching and enjoying “Rowan And Martin’s Laugh-In” every Monday night at 8 PM on NBC-TV. That was family night in front of the tube. The entire nation was watching.

Categories
God Humor

Saturday Morning Shenanigans

This guy is clearly Catholic:

AN ITALIAN BOY’S CONFESSION
 
‘Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl’.

The priest asks, ‘Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?’

‘Yes, Father, it is.’

‘And who was the girl you were with ?’

‘I can’t tell you, Father, I don’t want to ruin her reputation.’

Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti ?’

‘I cannot say.’

‘Was it Teresa Mazzarelli ?’

‘I’ll never tell.’

‘Was it Nina Capelli ?’

‘I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.’

‘Was it Cathy Piriano ?’

‘My lips are sealed.’

‘Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then ?’

‘Please, Father, I cannot tell you.’

The priest sighs in frustration. ‘You’re very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.’
 
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, ‘What’d you get ?’

‘Four months vacation and five good leads’.

Categories
Humor Money Politics

Economic Models Explained With Cows

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows with an option for one more. You sell one cow to buy a new President of the United States leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet is provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
Nobody believes you, so they bomb the heck out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.