Day: December 14, 2008

Categories
Humor Money

Sunday Night Funnies

Here are some new economic investment terms for the new year:

CEO – Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO – Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET – A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET – A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING – The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO – The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER – What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR – Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST – Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT – When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER – A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION – The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW – The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO – What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS – What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR – Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT – An archaic word no longer in use.

Categories
God

Life Pointe Church Sunday Morning Tossed Salad

Anthems For A Broken World - Life Pointe Church
Anthems For A Broken World - Life Pointe Church

Lead Pastor Travis kicked-off a fresh new message series this morning for the Christmas and New Year’s holiday season, and it’s all about that song that God has placed in each of our hearts. It’s that song that can change and heal the world around us – if we just let it. We all have a gift. We all can create. We all have that song. It’s time we sang that song and lived it. God has placed it in us. He wants us to sing it to Him.

As Christians we are saved by our faith in Him. The good things in us are an outflow of His great grace. Only a perfect Jesus can restore the brokenness of our imperfect hearts and souls.

On a personal note this was my momentous 100TH Sunday morning at Life Pointe Church. I walked in through the front doors of the movie theatre for the very first time on Sunday January 21ST 2007. It was about 5 months into this fantastic journey that God created for me. God’s been watching over me ever since He created me in 1966. He knows all about me, and He knew that He was eventually going to rescue me from the darkness, save me, bring me into the daylight, and lead me onto His fantastic journey that was especially created for me. He used loud rock and roll music on a local radio station – CALL-FM – to pull me in from the dark of the night, and when I was ready he led me to a hard rock concert at a church building on a Saturday night that ultimately led me to my new church family the very next morning – 100 Sundays ago. God is such a Great and Glorious God !