Here are some new economic investment terms for the new year:
CEO – Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO – Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET – A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET – A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING – The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO – The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER – What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR – Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST – Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT – When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER – A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION – The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW – The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO – What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS – What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR – Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT – An archaic word no longer in use.
CountUp 
2 replies on “Sunday Night Funnies”
Chris, just a heads up… please don’t spill the beans on Survivor on your blog. I can’t watch it until Tuesday night!!! I am TRYING not to find out who wins!
I’m watching it intently right now as I type this. I’m able to do so because I caught up with the past 4 or 5 episodes over the past week. I’ll keep it a secret until you can see it for yourself.