Category: Humor

Blatant Promotion

Post author By Chris M. Day
Post date January 16, 2009

3 weeks from today this blog will go on a temporary hiatus for exactly a week. There will be no new blog entries posted from Friday February 06TH through Thursday February 12TH. This will mark the first hiatus of this blog since November 2007, and it will end exactly 445 days in a row (over 63 weeks) of continuous blogging by me.

But have no fear, for this blog will return to action again on Friday the 13TH of February with our regularly-scheduled blog entries – kicking-off with an all-new ‘Friday Night Blogroll Review’ including the revelation of the next big ‘Major Bloggie’ award winner for the most entertaining blog entry of the week.

TOMORROW (Saturday) I’ve got a very special ‘on-location’ edition of ‘The Major’s Walk-A-Thon’ planned in which I hope to walk several miles over the course of several hours within a currently undisclosed location. Here’s a hint. I won’t be alone. I’ll be among thousands.

Later that night it’s an all-new ‘Retro’, and we’re gonna fight our way back to 1998. Be sure not to miss it my friends.

Until those next two blog entries appear here … REMEMBER THIS !

Humor Movies

Saturday Morning Shenanigans

Post author By Chris M. Day
Post date December 20, 2008
1 Comment on Saturday Morning Shenanigans

I did enough walking last night at the mall, so this morning I postponed ‘The Major’s Walk-A-Thon’ and slept in until an abnormally late 8:15 AM !

If you’re looking for a HILARIOUS movie to see then be sure to catch the box office smash “Four Christmases“. It’s the funniest movie I’ve seen since “License To Wed“. Both of those movies are actually very similar in many ways. Last night we saw Jim Carrey’s latest flick “Yes Man“. It was funny as well, but perhaps less funny and more romantic than we expected. Go see it. Good Stuff !

In lieu of this morning’s ‘Walk-A-Thon’ here is some wacky Tom Foolishness to make you giggle out loud (GOL):

On a famous TV game show a BLONDE contestant needed only to answer one more question.

One simple question stood between her and ONE MILLION DOLLARS !

“To be today’s champion,” the show’s smiling host intoned, “name two of Santa’s reindeer.”

The contestant gave a sigh of relief, gratified that she had drawn such an easy question.

“Rudolph !” she said confidently, “and … Olive !”

The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads instructed them to do), but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling. The confused host replied, “Yes, we’ll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain … ‘Olive ? ! ?'”

“You know,” the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer – had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows. Olive, the other reindeer…”

Humor Money

Sunday Night Funnies

Here are some new economic investment terms for the new year:

CEO – Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO – Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET – A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET – A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING – The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO – The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER – What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR – Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST – Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT – When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER – A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION – The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW – The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO – What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS – What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR – Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT – An archaic word no longer in use.

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