Category: Travel

Categories
Advertising Commerce Driving Food Mail Shopping Travel Weather

Tuesday Night Grab Bag O’ Thoughts

1.  I receive a lot of junk mail in my old-fashioned traditional mailbox. I wish there was a way where we could select which specific stores we would like to receive weekly advertisements for, and then only receive junk mail from them. But then I guess that it wouldn’t really be ‘junk’ mail, but rather ‘want’ mail. I receive weekly ads from Winn-Dixie, Sedano’s, and Diaz Supermarket (among others). I don’t shop at any of these fine grocery stores. I do shop at Publix, and I think that I would actually pay a small fee just to receive their weekly ad in the mail.

2.  It’s ‘The Major’s Lunch-A-Thon’. This past Sunday I ate at Longhorn Steakhouse. On Monday I ate at Beef ‘O’ Brady’s. Today I ate at Olive Garden. The tour de force of fine dining establishments in and around Homestead continues on Wednesday and Thursday before I head out-of-town on Friday. Lunch – It does a Chris good !

3.  ‘For Crying Out Loud !’ – Where does that phrase actually come from anyway ?  It’s a phrase that some people utilize in lieu of cussing – particularly when the’re astonished and can’t believe their eyes. I don’t think that I’ve ever uttered that phrase intentionally or otherwise. I suppose it’s a phrase (like many others) that’s probably inherited from generation to generation within the family. Incidentally how can you not ‘believe your eyes’ ?  Have your eyes ever lied to you ?  Well maybe after drinking !

4.  I filled up my car with gas this afternoon on my way home from work. I’ll be doing it again this Friday morning up near Orlando along Florida’s Turnpike. And then I’ll do it again about 5 hours later up in the northwestern panhandle of Florida along I-10. And then I’ll probably do it again another 5 hours after that at my first pit stop on my road trip. The adventure begins in less than 60 hours !

5.  The weather should be nice and seasonal on my way to the Dallas Texas area this Friday and Saturday with temperatures within a rather narrow range on both days – pretty much mid-60s to mid-70s on Friday and low-50s to mid-60s on Saturday – so neither cold nor hot. I should be able to maximize my gas mileage during my trip there by not using the A.C. We’ll see.

Categories
Animals Humor People Travel

Monday Night Funnies

These were (allegedly) posted on an Australian tourism web site, and the answers are (allegedly) the actual responses by the web site officials (who obviously have a great sense of humour – not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins !)

Q.  Does it ever get windy in Australia ?  I have never seen it rain on TV. How do the plants grow ?  ( U.K. )

A.  We import all plants fully grown, and then just sit around watching them die.

Q.  Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street ?  ( U.S. )

A.  Depends how much you’ve been drinking.

Q.  I want to walk from Perth to Sydney. Can I follow the railroad tracks ?  (Sweden)

A.  Sure – it’s only three thousand miles – take lots of water.

Q.  Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in  Australia ?  Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay ?  (U.K.)

A.  What did your last slave die of ?

Q.  Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ?  (U.S.)

A.  A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not … Oh forget it … Sure … the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q.  Which direction is North in Australia ?  (U.S.)

A.  Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here, and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q.  Can I bring cutlery into Australia ?  (U.K.)

A.  Why ?  Just use your fingers like we do.

Q.  Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule ?  (U.S.)

A.  Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y … which is … Oh forget it … Sure … the Vienna Boys’ Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross – straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q.  Can I wear high heels in Australia ?  (U.K.)

A.  You are a British politician right ?

Q.  Are there supermarkets in Sydney, and is milk available all year round ?  (Germany)

A.  No – we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunters/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q.  Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum.  (U.S.)

A.  Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled, and make good pets.

Q.  I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees.  (U.S.)

A.  It’s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q.  I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ?  (U.S.)

A.  Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q.  Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ?  (France)

A.  Only at Christmas.

Q.  Will I be able to speak English most places I go ?  (U.S.)

A.  Yes – but you’ll have to learn it first.

Categories
Blogging Career Computers Driving Food History Holidays Internet Music People Travel Weather

Thursday Night Mini Thoughts

– For the first time ever I’ve got 2 systems connected to the ‘Net simultaneously.
– I bought a ‘Wireless-N USB 2.0 Adapter‘ for my antique laptop.
– That’s the laptop that was my main system before I bought my new desktop.
– It’s so old that wireless technology was a mere option when it was new.
– Now I can access the Internet whereever there’s Wi-Fi.
– OK so I’m about 5 years behind the times here – at least I arrived.
– This suddenly rejuvenated laptop is going on a long road trip with me !
– Next Thursday night at this time I’ll be on vacation.
– I’m actually working for about 5 hours next Thursday morning.
– After that I’m off for the rest of the month.
– I return back to work to celebrate my 22ND anniversary at the air base.
– I’ve got an early departure time to hit the road next Friday morning.
– I’ve got about 825 miles to cover on the first day of my road trip.
– I can’t wait to get out on that open road.
– Late this morning I ventured over to Beef ‘O’ Brady’s for Lunch.
– I rarely eat cheeseburgers nowadays, but when I do Beef’s is the place.
– They also serve up some mightly tasty buffalo wings !
– Pretty much everything that I’ve ordered there was hot and delicious.
– Well the cold air from the north is advecting our area as I type this.
– Once the skies clear out our temperatures will tumble rapidly.
– I’m forecasting a low of 56° for Homestead from 6 AM to 7 AM on Friday.
– But wind chills will actually be closer to 50° !
– Tomorrow (Friday) we will struggle to reach 75°.
– It’ll be another chilly morning on Saturday.
– I can’t wait until I can walk around my neighbourhood in it !
– That’s right – I’m doin’ a ‘Walk-A-Thon’ on Saturday morning.
– This Saturday night on the ‘Retro’ I’ve got a funky Neil Sedaka from 1975.
– But first before that we’re gonna do the “Jungle Boogie” at the ‘Disco Party’.
– Be sure not to miss those weekend shenanigans.
– Those are my ‘Mini Thoughts’ for this Thursday night.
– I thank you for checking them out, and I’ll see ya back here tomorrow.
– In the meantime – REMEMBER THIS !

Chris At The Beach

Categories
Career History Holidays Music Radio Television Travel Weather

Saturday Night Retro

Whenever the first two weeks of November roll around I think of cooler and drier weather, the upcoming holiday season, and The United Kingdom.

Cold fronts from the northwest are sweeping through America’s Riviera for the first time since last Spring dropping temperatures down below 72°F on a nearly nightly basis.

Veterans Day, Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Day, and New Year’s Day are all within the next 8 weeks. Season’s Greetings Everyone !

These first two weeks of November also remind me of my two-year stint living in The United Kingdom serving as a young airman in the USAF. It was 24-years-ago this weekend that I departed stateside and arrived on British soil on my own to begin duty at my first permanent duty station. I served my country for two years in the U.K., and I took in all of the mid-1980s British and European culture at the time. It was a fun fun time for me and my friends that I spent it with. Good Times Forever.

22-years-ago next weekend I left the U.K. behind en route to my follow-on duty station at the original Homestead Air Force Base. Some time later on in my Life I plan to return to the U.K. to check up on the land across the sea I left behind.

Back in June of 1987 English novelty act The Firm scored one of the most unusual songs to ever hit # 1 on a major national hit music chart. It was a # 1 radio smash for 2 weeks all across The British Isles, and its unprecedented mainstream success reached deep into the European continent eastward into Asia and southward into Australia.

Here’s the original-length music video of that multi-continental # 1 smash, and it’s all about the legendary “Star Trek” television series from 20 years earlier: