Categories
Health Humor

I’m Sick ! I Ate A Cricket !

‘The Major’s Health & Awareness Center’ has confirmed that as of 6 AM EDT this morning the concerned area of disturbed conditions within my face over the past couple of days has indeed formed a closed circulation center and thus intensified into Common Cold # 7 making it the unbelievably ridiculous 7TH cold for me over the past 12 months. This is also less than 4 weeks removed from the arrival of Common Cold # 6 back on Thursday September 25TH 2008.

A stay-at-home curfew warning is now in effect for my home, and all residents and living creatures of the right-hand side of my nose have been strongly advised to rush evacuation procedures to completion and move quickly over to the left-hand side of my nose that currently works properly. If current conditions shall continue to persist or deteriorate further then Common Cold # 7 could then be upgraded to Hurricold Gabriel.

Stay tuned to this blog channel for further updates as they occur.

Categories
Animals Blogging Driving Health Politics Weather

Tuesday Night Grab Bag O’ Thoughts

With this edition of the flagship weekly series on this blog we begin the 2ND year of all-new thoughts on a Tuesday night. Who said this wouldn’t last more than 3 weeks ?  Often imitated but never as durable I present this to you:

1.  The rainy season has officially ended aqui en el Sur de Florida, and now we can look forward to delightful winter weather that residents of 48 other states (excluding Hawaii) can only dream of while we take it for granted. Having stated that – and how ironic – but we can expect occasional showers and perhaps even a stray thunderstorm or two at any time between now and Saturday night. The high humidity will return as well, but then on Sunday look out – sunny, much cooler, and definitely drier !

2.  FINALLY !  AT LONG LAST !  I am seeing political ads on TV for the other half of us, and they are being presented by the Republican Jewish Coalition. I’m actually cheering these ads on (loudly) when I see them because I’m just happy to see anything for my side now after having been blasted by negative attack ads from the other side for way too many months now.

3.  I’m hardly ever in a hurry when I drive from here to there, so I typically drive pretty close to the posted speed limit (unlike the other 8 out of 10 of you). Having stated that it just seems like whenever I do need to get from here to there just a little bit faster than normal everyone around me has decided that would be the perfect time to drive way too slow (below the posted speed limit) and box me in. Just my luck.

4.  I may look like I’m 22, but I usually feel like I’m 32. I’m approaching 42, but this past Monday morning I actually felt like I was closer to 52. This was after a weekend in which I nonchalantly sprained my lower back while playing air hockey at Dave & Buster’s, got very little sleep on Saturday night, cut open my right index finger on Sunday morning, and then got very little sleep again on Sunday night. Oh yeah I also slept improperly so my entire right arm aches a bit when I try to raise it. This weekend I’ll be relaxing and recuperating peacefully anhd quietly at home.

5.  Phil introduced me to Little Max (a Maltese dog) on Monday morning. Dogs don’t like me, but I think that Max did. P.J. and A.J. encouraged me to hold M.J., and once I hesitantly did so he wanted to take a quick nap in my hand. Max is lovable, but I could never be a master of a canine. It’s been about 33 years since my last dog was taken away from me. It was one of the most traumatic experiences of my entire childhood.

Categories
Television

Monday Night Countdown

Here’s a countdown that I’ve wanted to do for awhile now, but every time I thought about doing it another countdown idea came to my mind that sounded more fun to do – so I ended up doing that one instead. This week I had no better ideas than this.

It’s my countdown of my TOP 5 personal favourite basic cable television networks. I’m currently looking at a handwritten list of over 20 cable networks that I watch on at least an occasional basis. I circled 5 of them because these are the ones that stand out above the rest. These are the ones that I’d be upset the most if I lost access to them. Check it out:

5.  Travel Channel

4.  A&E – Real Life. Drama.

3.  Discovery Channel

2.  History

1.  tru TV – Not Reality. Actuality.

Categories
God

Life Pointe Church Sunday Morning Tossed Salad

If you wish to know how our Sunday morning service went down at our new Plantation Key campus of Life Pointe Church then you should just ask anyone with a last name of Hollifield – or this crazy long-haired dude. I wasn’t there. I was back in business at the Homestead / Flagship Cinemas campus. In fact I was there for a good 5½ hours this morning from start to finish.

Hospitality Setup was outstanding excellent very good good [fair]. We were missing several VIPs this morning (such as Manny and Tom ‘Can Do It’). My good friend Jonathan and I realized that we are not mechanically inclined, and we freely admit it. I even cut open my right index finger (with actual blood oozing out of it) to prove that I’m not a good ‘putter-togetherer’. Nurse Anne bandaged me up and put me back in the game.

“The Art Of War” (message series) continued into its 3RD of 5 weeks with Pastor Travis delivering the good message entitled ‘Eat & Sleep Well’. To effectively conquer and subdue the enemy we must possess a good work theology. Basically we must work when we need to work, and we must rest when we need to rest. The Lord tells us to follow His example. We need to ‘come apart’, or we will come apart. A failure to rest and recharge ultimately leads to utter disaster.

Genesis 2:1-3
1  So the creation of the heavens and the earth and everything in them was completed.
2  On the seventh day God had finished His work of creation, so He rested from all His work.
3  And God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy, because it was the day when He rested from all His work of creation.

Matthew 11:28-30
28  Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.
29  Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30  For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

For other fine perspectives of Life Pointe Church on this glorious 3RD Sunday in October check out these fine wrap-ups from LL Phil J and Billy The Kid Finch. Later tonight or even tomorrow T.J. and K.J. should have their reports posted.

Happy Birthday Blake !  I had fun celebrating your 1ST birthday celebration earlier today with your family . Keep smiling hard !