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Perth Australia

Welcome back to #TravelThursday. This month I’m virtually visiting 5 continents in 5 weeks. A couple of weeks ago I wrote about Luxembourg in Europe. Last week it was Yunnan China in Asia. This week it’s down under to Perth Australia.

I’m a big fan of Australia and New Zealand from afar. I’ve never been to either. (I’ve never been south of the Equator.) During my upcoming retirement chapter of my life – I definitely wish to somehow someway visit either or both nations for an organized 2-to-3-week tour. I actually want to see and experience Australia and New Zealand over any other destination in the world.

Every time “House Hunters International” (on HGTV) does an episode from either nation I’m glued intently to it – especially the scenery in the background. I get ecstatic when the house hunters are in Perth Australia.

About 25 years ago when I was discovering the Wild Wild World Wide Web (after I weaned myself off of AOL) I used RealAudio (remember that ?) to listen to pop music radio stations from around the world. I ran a pop music web site at the time that was gaining in popularity in Europe (particularly Netherlands, Belgium, and Germany) and Australia and New Zealand. I couldn’t believe that I was creating an electronic product, placing it on the Internet at my very own web site with its own domain name, and people from thousands of miles away and on the other side of the world were interested in it.

One of the many radio stations that I used to listen to from Australia was 96fm out of Perth. It was fun to hear tomorrow’s zany morning show at night here on the U.S. East Coast. Back then (in the late-1990s) pop music in Australia was like a hybrid of both U.S. and U.K. pop music. I remember hearing Natalie Imbruglia’s “Torn” for many months, and thinking to myself that it should be played on the radio here stateside. Eventually it made it here, and it was a MASSIVESMASH. (That’s an ode to my old web site.)

I learned a lot about Perth listening to the radio, and I even catered my website somewhat to Perth and other cities in Australia and New Zealand, since my fanbase there outnumbered most everywhere else in the world.

Perth is located on the southwest coast of Australia near the 32ND parallel south. Summers are mostly sunny, warm, and dry. Winters are mostly cloudy, cool, and wet. Spring is on its way Perth, and so are many sunny days !

Perth’s skyline from the sea is beautiful. Its metro area is vast along the coast. Over 2 million residents call Perth home. It’s one of the most isolated major cities in the world !

#VisitPerth

From Australia to South America. Next #TravelThursday I’m visiting Santiago Chile. Let’s keep traveling together.

All rights reserved (c) 2022 Christopher M. Day, CountUp

Categories
Animals Humor People Travel

Monday Night Funnies

These were (allegedly) posted on an Australian tourism web site, and the answers are (allegedly) the actual responses by the web site officials (who obviously have a great sense of humour – not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins !)

Q.  Does it ever get windy in Australia ?  I have never seen it rain on TV. How do the plants grow ?  ( U.K. )

A.  We import all plants fully grown, and then just sit around watching them die.

Q.  Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street ?  ( U.S. )

A.  Depends how much you’ve been drinking.

Q.  I want to walk from Perth to Sydney. Can I follow the railroad tracks ?  (Sweden)

A.  Sure – it’s only three thousand miles – take lots of water.

Q.  Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in  Australia ?  Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay ?  (U.K.)

A.  What did your last slave die of ?

Q.  Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ?  (U.S.)

A.  A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not … Oh forget it … Sure … the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q.  Which direction is North in Australia ?  (U.S.)

A.  Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here, and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q.  Can I bring cutlery into Australia ?  (U.K.)

A.  Why ?  Just use your fingers like we do.

Q.  Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule ?  (U.S.)

A.  Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y … which is … Oh forget it … Sure … the Vienna Boys’ Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross – straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q.  Can I wear high heels in Australia ?  (U.K.)

A.  You are a British politician right ?

Q.  Are there supermarkets in Sydney, and is milk available all year round ?  (Germany)

A.  No – we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunters/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q.  Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum.  (U.S.)

A.  Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled, and make good pets.

Q.  I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees.  (U.S.)

A.  It’s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q.  I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ?  (U.S.)

A.  Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q.  Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ?  (France)

A.  Only at Christmas.

Q.  Will I be able to speak English most places I go ?  (U.S.)

A.  Yes – but you’ll have to learn it first.