This article in The Wall Street Journal made me feel awesomely proud to call Homestead Florida my home. It’s one of the most positive well-written news articles I have ever read regarding my city of the past 21 years.
Month: September 2008
You came here on a Tuesday night for this, and I shall not disappoint you. This week’s theme – hot versus cold.
1. We’ve got light rain here in Homestead right now because we have an incredible phenomenon occurring – an actual wintertime cold front approaching us from the north – in September ! It should ooze on through tonight, and then on the other side of it – clear, crisp, cool, and dry. The sun will shine brightly for a few days, and temperatures will only peak in the mid-80s during the afternoon hours with temperatures early in the morning possibly dropping down into the upper-60s ! It’s just a tiny taste of Autumn !
2. The hot Sun is now south of the Equator. That means that our nights are now slightly longer than our days. It also means that the Sun rises to the south of due east – and sets to the south of due west – but not by much. After all we are in the subtropics.
3. We had no working A.C. in my building at work yesterday, so everyone was hot and sweaty. Temperatures were in the mid-80s inside. It was quite unbearable. They fixed it overnight, and today we had A.C. struggling to cool off our building (from yesterday’s sudden heatwave). Nevertheless 78°F felt much better than 86°F.
4. I ate Lunch with a longtime friend of mine at El Nachito today. I ate enough hot and delicious Mexican food for 3 people. When there was no more food left in front of me I realized that my face was sweating. That happens sometimes when I’ve eaten enough food that could satisfy a small horse.
5. Can you believe this ? I think I’m coming down with my 6TH cold over the past 10 months. The first sign of an impending cold for me is typically a weak sore throat. I felt the first sign of it this morning at work, and I exclaimed, ‘Oh no you didn’t !’ I then took a Zicam, and then I took another one 3 hours later, and then I took another one 3 hours after that (just now). Please cold don’t bother me now with your antics !
It’s not quite 9:30 PM on a Monday night, and I’m already thinking ahead outside of the bun. Be sure to be here TOMORROW as I post my weekly ‘Tuesday Night Grab Bag O’ Thoughts’ sometime before 5 PM EDT. I don’t have a clue as to what I plan to blog about, but I’m sure that I’ll think of five crazy thoughts over the next 20 hours. You’re not gonna wanna miss it my friends.
Coming up in 5 nights it’s another classic flashback in time as we go ‘Saturday Night Retro’ to 1995. What were you doing back then ? Having fun ?
Have a cool and pleasant Monday night everyone, and until we meet again – REMEMBER THIS !
Leaders and Supervisours – Feel free to use the following for your workplace as you see fit:
EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY – NEW OFFICE POLICIES
Dress Code:
1. You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays and Sundays.
Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives, or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the ‘Chronic Offenders’ category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company’s mental health policy.
Lunch Break:
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
The Management
Categories
Monday Night Countdown
I thought about doing a Washington Redskins / Super Bowl TOP 5 for this week’s edition of the ‘Monday Night Countdown’, but that would just be so predictable. I’d pick all 5 Super Bowls that the Redskins played in (1972, 1982, 1983, 1987, and 1991), and their 3 wins would be # 1, # 2, and # 3 with their two losses as # 4 and # 5. Wow – How anticlimactic.
How about if I simply present the TOP 5 NFL teams with current winning records that I don’t think will make the playoffs in January:
5. San Francisco 49ers (2-1) – Only one team will make the playoffs from the NFC West. It’s who wins the division, and that will be the Arizona Cardinals.
4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-1) – Only one team will make the playoffs from the NFC South, and I really think that this is the Atlanta Falcons’ year.
3. Carolina Panthers (2-1) – See above.
2. Washington Redskins (2-1) – It’s the NFL’s toughest division in the NFL’s toughest conference. They are no longer known as the ‘NFC Least’, but rather the ‘NFC Beast’. (Thanks for that one Danny.) Unfortunately only 3 out of 4 teams from a single division can advance into the playoffs in January. At this point the Cowboys, the Giants, and the Eagles all look a little tougher than my beloved Redskins. They can very easily finish with a winning record of 9-7 or 10-6 or even better and still finish in last place in the division. I want the Redskins to make the playoffs, but they may need another year of rebuilding before that happens. I hope that I’m wrong.
1. New England Patriots (2-1) – Yeah I went there. After a decade of dominance the AFC is in a decline, and its decline is being led by the spiraling Patriots as well as the Jaguars, the Colts, and the Chargers – all with losing records. The decline began when the New York Football Giants shocked the world and beat the Pats in the Super Bowl.
CountUp 