Category: Humor

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The Major’s Weekend Blast-Off

It’s time once again for the weekly blog series that’s 7 days in the making. Let’s kick-off this final weekend of September of 2010 !

WEEKEND GRAB BAG O’ THOUGHT:
Ever since this past Monday night I’ve been tracking a developing tropical system to the south of us deep down in the Caribbean. Once we get in to late-September and definitely October and November we stop looking east for any storms that may affect us – and start looking south and west. During the latter portion of the Atlantic basin storm season our tropical systems come from behind us – from our own backyard per se. Who can ever forget Hurricane Wilma – one of the most destructive in modern recorded history. It wrecked havoc on South Florida during the final week of October of 2005. Now we’ve got Tropical Storm Matthew. It formed in virtually the same exact spot as Wilma. Its trek through the southwestern Caribbean is virtually identical to that of Wilma. Up until last night it appeared that its entire trek would mimic that of Wilma (from the Yucatan Peninsula of Mexico northeastward across South Florida). My weather models consistently placed a Category 1 or Category 2 Hurricane Matthew sweeping directly over South Florida for next Thursday and Friday (September 30TH and October 01ST). This morning I awoke and I updated my weather models with all-new overnight data, and for the first time in 5 days they no longer bring that system to South Florida. They keep it over the Yucatan Peninsula for a few days where it stalls and then degenerates into an open low pressure system. I’m not quite buying in to this new scenario, but we’ll see. It’s an interesting new development, and a positive one for us. I’ll keep my eyes on Matthew, and I’ll tweet any relevant news associated with him and how he may (or may not) affect us late next week.

BEST LUNCH OF THE WEEK AWARD:
This was the work week in which I said ‘good-bye’ to a good coworker friend over a Monday Lunch at Red Lobster. On Wednesday I enjoyed a delicious Shiner Bock BBQ Burger at Chili’s. But this week my ‘Best Lunch Of The Week’ occurred at downtown Homestead‘s quaint and historic White Lion Cafe. I enjoyed the Fried Chicken dinner (not what you think). This was a MASSIVE hunk of boneless chicken breast dipped in egg and flour and seasoned to juicy perfection (not at all greasy). The mashed potatoes, mixed veggies, and sweet ice tea complemented it perfectly. I also enjoyed this feast with a good friend of mine. In fact she’s one of my longest-running friends. I’ve known her for all 23 years that I’ve lived here in Homestead, and we celebrated her birthday at one of our city’s nicest restaurants. If you’ve never experienced the White Lion Cafe before for Lunch or Dinner then try to do so whenever you get the chance. You won’t regret it pal.

RETWEET:
NEXT weekend I will almost definitely see “The Social Network“. It’s all about one of the most demonic web sites ever created by mankind.

PANDA WITH AN ALLERGY:

BLATANT PROMOTION:
TOMORROW on the blog I’ll be presenting the remarkable 100TH edition of my ‘Saturday Night Retro’. It’s one of the many weekly blog series that were created during the frantic 2008 heyday of this blog, and it’s the lone survivor of them all. ‘Retro’ gives me a chance each week to look back at my life and highlight some of my most vivid memories – good and bad. I can’t change the past, but I can certainly learn from all of those mistakes that I’ve made in times gone by. In the similar-concept tradition of the long-running ‘Major’s MASSIVE Memories’ (from my old hit music web site) I always include a memorable pop song from the era that I’m flashing back on. The music is the soundtrack of my life – then and now. It instantly transports me to a time period  that was once present day time and space. Music was even used by God some 49 months ago to radically change my life. That’s Life. That’s ‘Retro’.

COMING SOON:
As announced on Twitter earlier this week I’m kicking-off ‘The Great Chris Day Winter Of 2011 Cultural, Historical, & Economical Stimulus Tour’. From October through February I’ll be visiting and exploring fun and exotic locations near and far such as Everglades National Park, Monkey Jungle, Jungle Island, Naples, Fort Myers, Sanibel Island, Panama City Beach, Dallas / Fort Worth Texas, the Bahamas, the U.S. Virgin Islands, and San Juan Puerto Rico. I’ll be tweeting and blogging every step of the way.

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Animals Blogging Career Driving Food Health History Humor Life Money Movies Shopping Sports Television Weather

The Major’s Weekend Blast-Off

WEEKEND GRAB BAG O’ THOUGHT:
The 2ND weekend of the month of August of 2010 is here, and I’ve been anxiously awaiting its inevitable arrival since I awoke last Monday morning. This afternoon I conveniently extended this weekend by exactly 24 hours. I’ve decided to take the day off from work on Monday. I’ve scheduled myself for a long-overdue comprehensive eye exam with my Optometry Doctor at The Falls. My last exam was over 14 months ago on my 42ND birthday. It’s usually a birthday tradition for me to get a complete eye exam, but I put it off this year for no particular reason of great importance. I have been experiencing occasional vision problems at times – particularly reading with poor lighting. The eye exam will determine if my eyesight has indeed worsened over the past 14 months, or if it’s just my imagination. The dilation of my pupils and 3-hour recovery time thereafter will no doubt cause me to eat a MASSIVE Lunch in the dark here, and then see a hit movie in the dark here. It’ll be a rough day for me.

BEST LUNCH OF THE WEEK AWARD:
Longhorn Steakhouse – Parmesan Crusted Chicken, Mashed Potatoes, Brandied Cinnamon Apples, Bread, Coke. This was a week in which I ate Lunch at Red Lobster (Monday), Portofino (Wednesday), and Longhorn (Thursday). I also picked-up Lunch from Publix (Tuesday) and Broadway Subs (Friday). Every single Lunch this week was definitely satisfying and downright scrumptious, but I can’t pick any other than Longhorn as my ‘Best Lunch Of The Week’ since one of my regular waittresses actually opened the front door for me at the joint, welcomed me back, and knew exactly what I wanted before I even sat myself down at my regular table. I feel like I’m a part-owner there. I belong.

15 WEEKEND MINI THOUGHTS:
– After about 48 hours of dark skies and persistent rains it’s been non-stop sun.
– I forecasted up to 6 inches of rain, and much of Homestead got 4-5 inches.
– I then forecasted 5-7 days of dry weather, and that’s happening now.
– My amateur weather forecasting this year has been truly impeccable.
– It’s one of my few talents, so please don’t hate on me.
– Don’t let the lack of tropical storms and hurricanes thus far deceive you.
– In just a couple of weeks I’m forecasting the oceanic action to heat up.
– Get to know Danielle, Earl, Fiona, Gaston, Hermine, Igor, Julia, and Karl.
– I don’t know about you, but Hurricane Igor frightens me already.
– I’m so excited on seeing my 2010 Redskins play in a preseason game tonight.
– They play LIVE at home against the Bills on NFL Network in HD.
– New coaches, new players, new schemes, new attitude, new era !
– This season could / should be the start of something SUPER !
– I’ve recently made some cool enhancements to my blog here.
– Please tell me what you like and don’t like via the comments or privately.

THOSE CRAZY CRAZY CATS:

BLATANT PROMOTION:
During the Spring of 1988 I was a young 20-year-old USAF Airman First Class (two stripes) on the verge of becoming 21 and a Senior Airman (three stripes) at bustling Homestead Air Force Base Florida. My total annual salary was about $11,000, but I had no car, lived on-base in a dormitory, and all of the food was free. I rode my bike to and from work on-base through the heat, the wind, and the rain. I dreamed of someday owning a car and driving it all around South Florida … Be sure to check out this weekend’s hot new edition of my ‘Saturday Night Retro’ to see how this story ends. You won’t regret it pal.

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Animals Blogging Driving Food Holidays Humor Travel Weather

The Major’s Weekend Blast-Off

WEEKEND GRAB BAG O’ THOUGHT:
It’s Friday July 02ND, and it’s the long extended 4TH Of July holiday weekend here in the U.S.A. Go out and make it an enjoyable one, but always play it safe in everything that you do. I’m 1,400+ miles away from home within the vast northeastern suburbia of Dallas Texas. I’m here visiting my little brother, his lovely wife, their adorable 10-week-old daughter (my niece), their old dog, our parents, and later on this weekend our favourite Aunt and Uncle who I haven’t seen in about 7 years. It’s my 2ND visit here in exactly 7 weeks. When I return back home again I’ll be less than 10 days away from my next big weekend vacation getaway. I’ll have more on that next weekend on the ‘Blast-Off”.

BEST LUNCH OF THE WEEK AWARD:
Longhorn Steakhouse – 12-ounce (NOT 12-inch) Renegade Top Sirloin, Loaded Baked Potato, Bread, Coke.

15 WEEKEND MINI THOUGHTS:
– My American Airlines flight from Miami to Dallas was rather uneventful.
– Due to severe weather in Central FL we took an unusual route out of Miami.
– We traced the entire Florida Keys from Key Biscayne to past Key West !
– We essentially flew directly over the Homestead area.
– I waved down at all of my friends back home and on Key Largo and Tavernier.
– I even saw Dry Tortugas National Park and Fort Jefferson from way up there.
– We crossed right over the middle of the Gulf Of Mexico into Louisiana.
– The entire trek from north of the Keys into Texas was above layers of clouds.
– It was the leftover counter-clockwise circulation of former Hurricane Alex.
– This afternoon the remnant moisture of Alex has turned Texas into the tropics.
– We’re getting occasional showers this afternoon here in Northeast Texas.
– Everything is lush and green here, as it’s been a rather wet month here.
– Meanwhile the grass is dying and becoming crunchy back home in Homestead.
– Today for Lunch we picked up fast food from Sonic.
– It was pretty good, and maybe by Christmas our Homestead Sonic will be open.

THOSE CRAZY CRAZY CATS:

BLATANT PROMOTION:
TOMORROW on the blog we’ll celebrate America’s Birthday with a classic jam that’s all about “America”. It’s from an American music legend who is still gettin’ it done today. Catch it right here on my ‘Saturday Night Retro’. Then on Sunday on an all-new ‘My Fantastic Journey’ I’ll tell you what freedom means to me on this 4TH Of July. It’s all right here this weekend. Go forth and enjoy your weekend, and check back here later on. You won’t regret it pal.

Categories
Humor Life Philosophy

Monday Night Funnies

10 TWISTED THEORIES:

– Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

– The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

– It’s always darkest before dawn, so if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper then that’s the time to do it.

– Always remember that you’re unique – just like everyone else.

– Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

– Before you criticize someone you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them you’re a mile away, and you have their shoes.

– If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving is probably not for you.

– Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

– Generally speaking you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.

– Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.