Category: Humor

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Animals Blogging Humor People Radio Travel

Monday Night Countdown

This Just In:  In the dark of the night it was revealed earlier today that ‘The Major’s Tweets’ had been temporarily removed from the weekly blogging schedule. It is now on hiatus – which is usually not a good sign. Anyone remember the ‘Lipitor Moment Of The Night’ ?  Anyone ?  Anyone ?  I didn’t think so.

Returning to Monday nights here on the big blue blog it’s the venerable former hit series ‘Monday Night Countdown’ !  LET’S ROLL !

This week it’s the TOP 7 Persons, Places, and Things that randomly come to my mind at this precise moment:

1.  Behnke – My brother will appreciate this one. As little kids in the late-1970s this was a fairly regular place that we (our family) used to visit to buy plants and mulch. It’s located on U.S. 1 in Beltsville Maryland. Me and my brother always pronounced it as ‘Bing-kees’.

2.  Rick Dees – ‘Alex, I’ll take ‘Famous People Who Have Influenced My Life Over The Years’ for $1,600 please.’

3.  2032 – It’s the year that I turn 65-years-old. Can I get a what-what ?

4.  Joo-Joo-Bee – It’s one of the many crazy nicknames that I had for my little feline buddy Boots (1993-2007).

5.  Hialeah – In my nearly 22 years of living here in America’s Riviera I don’t believe that I have ever stepped foot in that city.

6.  Royal – They used to totally rule the world of typewriters back in the day, and can you believe that they still make and sell them today ?

7.  Dude Walker – He was a crazy morning deejay on TOP 40 Q-107 in Washington D.C. about 30 years ago. He was teamed-up with legendary news man Doug Limerick back then.

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History Humor Movies Music People Radio Television

The Major’s Friday Night Disco Party

Once upon a time in the land of broadcast network prime time television there existed an abundance of good old-fashioned situation comedies with 24-minute storylines and active laugh tracks from start to finish – sometimes canned – and sometimes ‘recorded LIVE in front of a studio audience’.

The start of the 1978-1979 television season contained no less than 25 such half-hour sitcoms on the three networks at the time, and that season had 9 sitcoms occupy the TOP 10 spots in the ratings.

Sitcoms totally ruled the roost back then, but not every single one was a smash. Here’s a flop – one of the biggest of its generation. It lasted a mere 8 episodes during the Spring of 1979. It was a blatant rip-off of the box office smash “Saturday Night Fever” starring song-and-dance man David Naughton in John Travolta’s role as a disco dancer by night – and an ice cream parlor man by day. Critics trashed this show from the very start, and viewers had enough of disco music in the movies and on the radio. It just didn’t make sense to watch a disco sitcom on TV. Perhaps the most entertaining part of this show was its extended opening theme song and credits that stretched out over the course of nearly two whole minutes !  After the show was cancelled its standard-length theme song became a gold-certified TOP 5 disco smash on the radio.

Check it out – it’s the original opening theme song and credits for “Makin’ It” !

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Astronomy Blogging Driving God Holidays Home Humor Music Radio Travel

Thursday Night Mini Thoughts

– Let’s get spontaneous.
– Let’s be unpredictable and outrageous.
– It’s October all across the land, and the holiday season is upon us !
– First up – Columbus Day – the Monday after next.
– I’m planning a two-day weekend getaway that weekend over in Naples.
– I’ve got visitor centers, museums, and other tourist traps to check out.
– I’ve also got a rock concert to attend over there.
– I’ll be rockin’ out to Manic Drive just like I did on the 20TH of January of 2007.
– I’ll be tuning in to The Call‘s fresh new 107.7 FM frequency over there.
– I’ll be attending a church service over there on that Sunday morning.
– Halloween is at the end of this month, and I suppose that’s a holiday too.
– The next morning we flip back an hour to Standard Time.
– I’m looking forward to that.
– I’d rather have the daylight at 7 AM rather than 7 PM.
– Veterans Day is on a Wednesday this year on the 11TH of November.
– I take that Federal Holiday very personal.
– It’s a total shame that more Americans don’t take it seriously.
– Only 50 more days until I proceed with my 2,800+ mile road trip.
– It’ll be the longest road trip of my entire Life.
– I’m driving halfway across the free nation and then back again.
– On December 01ST I begin my 23RD year here in Homestead.
– I’ll be here for awhile.
– This afternoon at work I heard an old song in the background on the radio.
– It nearly brought tears to me.
– I got goosebumps and the chills.
– I had to stop everything that I was doing until it was over.
– I don’t think that I’ve heard that song in over 37 years !
– It may produce the same effects on you.
– That’s because I’m sharing the experience on the ‘Saturday Night Retro’.
– You’re not gonna wanna miss that.
– Tomorrow night on the Disco party it’s another moldie-oldie.
– It’s the only hit song from the smooth as silk George McCrae.
– He’s gonna “Rock Your Baby” like nobody else can.
– Well those are my ‘Mini Thoughts’ for now.
– If I think of any others then I’ll just tweet them.
– Until next time my friends – REMEMBER THIS !

No Parking

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Food Health Humor Music People Television

Monday Night Countdown

After a one-year trial separation Lipitor and I have been reunited at last – and it feels so good. In lieu of ‘The Major’s Loony Bin’ (which normally appears on this day here on this blog) I present to you a one-shot special edition of the historic ‘Monday Night Countdown’. It’s my TOP 5 reasons why I’m absolutely thrilled to be back with the Lipitor:

5.  It’s what all of the kool kids middle aged dudes are doin’.

4.  Now when somebody tells me to act my age I can pull out my daily tablet of Lipitor, switch on the ‘Judge Judy‘, and make awkward sounds whenever I go to sit down and stand up.

3.  I no longer have to feel guilty as sin whenever I eat a GINORMOUS 5,000+ calorie meal at the LongHorn SteakHouse.

2.  Perhaps if Lipitor existed 32 years ago then Elvis Presley would still be alive and kicking today. (Elvis died of a MASSIVE heart attack 32 years ago this week at the same exact age as I am now.) I don’t wish to die of a heart attack. I still have a lot of work to do here on Earth – like be a TV weatherman.

1.  Because if I don’t get any of the following side effects – dizziness, headache, nausea, diarrhea, constipation, gas, stomach upset / pain, bone, joint, or tendon pain, swelling in the arms or legs, chest pain, muscle pain, tenderness, or weakness (especially with fever or unusual tiredness), yellowing eyes and skin, dark urine, change in the amount of urine, pale stools, severe stomach pain, rash, itching, swelling, dizziness, trouble breathing, and other effects not listed – then it’s a GREAT day !