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Saturday Morning Shenanigans

It’s the Summer replacement series for ‘The Major’s Walk-A-Thon’ which is now on seasonal hiatus. It’s … ‘Saturday Morning Shenanigans’. This should be a fun weekly series for all of us.

Saturday morning is pretty much the only morning of the week when I don’t have to set my alarm clock to wake-up earlier than I would if I didn’t set my alarm clock. During the week it’s typically set for 5:10 AM, and it typically wakes me up. On Sunday mornings it’s usually set for 6:30 AM, but I usually wake up before that time. And then there’s Saturday mornings – no set alarm clock, but I still wake-up before the dawn. I think that it has everything to do with me totally being ‘a morning person’. I’ve been waking up between 4 AM and 6 AM for the past 30 years. Before my current Air Force / Department Of Defense career I delivered newspapers early in the morning before school.

This morning I ventured on over to Florida City (where all of the food is at), and I ate a MASSIVE breakfast at the Cracker Barrel courtesy of my longtime waitress Debbie. Incidentally Debbie is one of the few good people that was an integral part of the last few years of my previous life who is now a part of my new Life. Oh yeah – the meal was livin’ large and outrageously scrumptious. This just in – I’m up a pound or two to 166.

Saturday mornings are also ‘laundry mornings’ in my household. Every 38 minutes I’m washing a new load of dirty clothes, and every 48 minutes I’m drying a new load of clean clothes. I’m efficient like that.

And so there ya go – the debut edition – the pilot episode if you will of ‘Saturday Morning Shenanigans’. We’ll do it all over again next week, and in next week’s edition I’m gonna reveal a secret passion (and talent) of mine that developed over the course of a decade of Saturday mornings back in the 1970s into the 1980s. It’s a ‘can’t-miss’ episode that all of Life Pointe Church will be talking about the next day at Homestead Bayfront Park. You won’t want to miss it pal ! 

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Animals Bugs God Health Holidays Home Life People Weather

The Major’s Walk-A-Thon: Season 1 Recap

There was no walk around my neighbourhood on this Saturday morning. It was about 73°F and the relative humidity was very near 100% with lower visibility due to light fog. The South Florida summertime weather pattern has taken hold, and it will have a firm grip on us for the next 5+ months.

Last Saturday morning was the season finale of ‘The Major’s Walk-A-Thon’, and so I present to you a recap of the season that started on Christmas Eve with my TOP 10 thoughts (in chronological order):

1.  Monday December 24TH 2007 – If this were May, June, July, August, September, or October then I would have probably been eaten alive by every bug known to mankind, but this is December and it is just so refreshingly delightful outside !

2.  Tuesday January 01ST 2008 – You can tell where the party-animals live here in my neighbourhood. Their dumpsters are overflowing with leftover holiday week garbage. The dumpsters that were still able to be closed from the top are where the retired folks live … Dogs can be party-animals as well. I came within inches of stepping in some of their ‘holiday leftovers’ during my walk this morning. It was a close call !

3.  Saturday January 05TH 2008 – Walking is a great time for praying. I prayed for the residents of Homestead, Florida City, Redland, Leisure City, Naranja Lakes, and Princeton to be blessed by the Glory of God. I prayed that the believers stay strong and unwavering with their personal relationship with Jesus. I prayed that the non-believers be guided onto the on-ramp of the fantastic journey by the believers. There’s plenty of room for everyone who truly believes in Him !

4.  Saturday February 16TH 2008 –  A friend from afar recently asked me why I started this weekly walk. Besides the obvious health and fitness reasons this walk – inspired and encouraged by this fellow WordPress blogger – is symbolic of my walk with Jesus Christ. I’ve been walking with Him on His fantastic journey for about 18 months now. I was once a mannequin – plastic and rotting. Now I am alive. Since I am alive I am living Life (always capitalized) the way that I should have lived it during my previous 39 years on His great Earth. That includes throwing everything up in the air like ‘Tossed Salad’ (catch the symbolism there) and only catching the good stuff – the right stuff. A physical walk is now on my agenda to complement my spiritual walk with my Creator. No longer am I sitting still in neutral. I am now moving forward and going places with my Life. The Lord Almighty is driving me. I am merely His passenger.

5.  Saturday February 23RD 2008 – I received some disappointing news at my Doctor’s office yesterday afternoon. After numerous analyses of my blood work over the past several years he has finally made the determination that diet and exercise alone is not bringing down my bad cholesterol (LDL). It’s still in the ‘elevated’ range, and it doesn’t appear to be coming down on its own. He has prescribed Lipitor for me – 10 milligrams per day to start off with. He gave me a free 14-day sample of it to ensure that it doesn’t cause any bad side effects with me. If I feel fine after the first 14 days then it’s on to Walgreens to get my prescription filled. I take my first dosage this afternoon. This will probably be the start of daily medication for the rest of my Life. I am no longer a young buck. Apparently I am now a middle-aged dude with high cholesterol. I am facing the music.

6.  Saturday March 08TH 2008 – My semi-basic 1.4-mile walk on a rare full stomach was done so during treacherous weather conditions – with thick dark clouds hanging low overhead, strong gusty northwesterly winds of up to 25 MPH, cold air pouring in, and even a little bit of leftover drizzle on this fresh side of the powerful cold front. I will dream of mornings like this from April through October when it’s hot and sticky outside with no wind … The ducks were out and about this morning, and they appeared to be lost, dazed, confused, and perhaps even drunk. They were stumbling about, wandering around with no sense of direction, and I saw one of them nearly tumble over in a state of mass chaos. They were wondering why the weather had suddenly changed on them. Some of them probably drank too much (rain).

7.  Saturday March 29TH 2008 – Whenever I walk the walk I feel like I’ve taken back my neighbourhood. I’ve lived here for nearly 13 years, but I’ve only really lived here for the past 3 months. Before Christmas Eve 2007 the only walking I did was to and from the mailboxes and the dumpsters. From 1995 to 2007 I merely existed in this neighbourhood. Now I am fully alive. Taking back my neighbourhood from obscurity has been just like taking back my Life from the darkness. I’ve wrapped my arms around my entire neighbourhood just like I’ve embraced this new Life that God has given me.

8.  Saturday April 19TH 2008 – I may not have big muscles to show for it, but I am the most physically fit today than I have ever been in my entire life and Life. I am in far better shape today than I was during my late-teens and early-to-middle-20s when I had to run a mile-and-a-half every year in the Air Force.

9.  Saturday April 26TH 2008 – ‘The cat by the dumpster’ was there again. He looked at me with his sad yellow eyes with no fear. I think if I dropped a few morsels of tasty food by his side then he would have gobbled it all up in a split second and then followed me for the remaining mile-plus of my walk. 10 years later … 

10.  Saturday May 03RD 2008 – 2 little dogs were out for some early-morning shenanigans without their owner. I think they escaped from their patio. They were having a good ole time running all around in the street and on the grass – until they saw me !  That’s when they ran behind me and straight outta sight – probably back to where they belong. I wonder which one of those little dogs was the trouble-maker ?  Which one said to the other one, ‘Hey, follow me. We’re gonna go out and paint this town. We’re gonna go and get us into some monkey business this morning. Let’s go dog !’

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Animals Health Home Travel Weather

The Major’s Walk-A-Thon

Sky: Mostly Cloudy
Temperature: 73°F
Relative Humidity: 77%
Winds: E 5 MPH
Barometric Pressure: 30.02 Rising

My thoughts:

1.  It’s the first Saturday morning of May, and the walk continues. We’re enjoying an unusually cool Spring here in South Florida. Later this month the rainy season should be kicking-off, and that will pretty much bring an end to these weekly walks for the season.

2.  It was another 2.2-mile walk for me this morning, and I did it in 40 minutes flat. That’s an average of 3.3 MPH. I always feel refreshed and alive during and after the walk. I think that’s the whole point of exercising.

3.  U.S. 1 is known as the ’18-Mile Stretch’ from Florida City to Key Largo. I’ve got the ’18-Minute Stretch’. That’s the middle portion of my walk that takes me from the main gate of my neighbourhood, completely around its southern hemisphere, down the spine, and back to the main gate again.

4.  2 little dogs were out for some early-morning shenanigans without their owner. I think they escaped from their patio. They were having a good ole time running all around in the street and on the grass – until they saw me !  That’s when they ran behind me and straight outta sight – probably back to where they belong. I wonder which one of those little dogs was the trouble-maker ?  Which one said to the other one, ‘Hey, follow me. We’re gonna go out and paint this town. We’re gonna go and get us into some monkey business this morning. Let’s go dog !’

5.  Most neighbourhoods have a lack of parking. My neighbourhood has an over-abundance of parking. I think we may even have one parking space for every man, woman, and child that lives here. At least it seems that way.

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Advertising Annoyances Blogging Driving Food God Home People Politics Television Travel

Tuesday Night Grab Bag O’ Thoughts

You know why you’re here:

1.  Some of the best television programming on-the-air is in the form of 30 and 60 second commercials. You know that it’s a great commercial when you pretty much stop what you’re doing whenever it comes on the tube – no matter how many times you’ve already seen it. I’m thinking about the AT&T GoPhone commercial right now that stars Meat Loaf and Tiffany. (NO – The’re not really married in real-life. That’s not really their son either.)

2.  The sight of a large gathering of people applauding President George W. Bush after a speech is a beautiful sight. The concept of everyone respecting The President Of The United States Of America (whoever it is), and treating him or her like you would want to be treated by any other human being is just plain humane. Unfortunately it’s a concept that millions of Americans just don’t understand.

3.  I think that I totally adore eating Kellogg’s Pop Tarts today just as much as I did as a kid back in the 1970s into the 1980s. I think that if you ask me about them again in another 30 years then the answer will probably be the same.

4.  On the other hand back in the 1970s I did not appreciate Chinese food. In fact I didn’t really enjoy eating it on a regular basis until the mid-1990s. Homestead has no shortage of family-owned Chinese restaurants. Everywhere you look – ‘There’s one !’

5.  Homestead also specializes in family-owned Mexican restaurants, and that’s a delicacy that’s even newer to my personal tastes than Chinese food. One day soon I’m going to have Lunch with this cat at a fine Mexican restaurant near my workplace.

6.  If there are just 3 motorists driving along a somewhat secluded portion of highway in Homestead then those 3 motorists would just have to be myself, the slow-poke directly in front of me that’s driving 33 MPH in a 40 MPH zone, and the tail-gater directly behind me that is so close that I can no longer see his or her vehicle anymore via my rear-view mirror. Throw in an extra-special 4TH vehicle that’s rapidly approaching all 3 of us with its high-beams on, and you’ve got a typical Tuesday morning on North Canal Drive in Homestead !

7.  Incidentally Miami-Dade County’s SW 328TH Street is known as ‘North Canal Drive’ for 7½-miles from Homestead Bayfront Park westward to the city limits of Florida City at SW 172ND Avenue. At that exact point SW 328TH Street is renamed ‘Lucy Street’, and it is the dividing line between Homestead (on the north) and Florida City (on the south). It has been that way since the 1940s. If you’re coming out of the Villages Of Homestead then you are making a turn onto ‘North Canal Drive’ – not ‘Lucy Street’.

8.  I had planned to go to Publix this afternoon after work to buy some much-needed groceries, but then I decided against it on the way home because I have way too many things to do – such as compiling and publishing these ‘Tuesday Night Grab Bag O’ Thoughts’. It’s all about the sacrifices that I make for you – my loyal and faithful friend of this blog.

9.  I was referred to as ‘Pastor Chris’ a couple of times last week at the Exponential Conference in Orlando. I think it was because in some of the breakout sessions that I attended it was mostly all Pastors (and me). Unlike the Catholic Church Pastors tend to look and dress rather normal – just like you and me.

10.  My fingernails grow so fast. It seems like I just clipped them a few days ago, and now they need clipping again. That’s another 5 minutes out of my busy schedule !