Monday Night Countdown

Bright and early this Wednesday morning I’ll be jumping aboard the Miami-Dade Metrorail system for the first time in perhaps a decade.

Here are the TOP 5 things I’m looking forward to about that:

5.  I get the coolest non-Google Street View view of overly-congested Useless-One (South Dixie Parking Lot) – from about 25 feet up in the air.

4.  I’m on a never-ending fact-finding mission to see if any new and exciting shopping center districts are currently under construction or open for business along Useless-One. Hey – it’s how I discovered The Shops At Sunset Place (my former playground) back in 1999 !

3.  I’m yearning to know if that train is still leaving on Track 5 … for Anaheim, Azusa, and Cuc … amonga. (This is an old radio reference to ‘The Jack Benny Program’ circa 1949. If you have no clue what this means then you are simply a young buck. Get it ? – Buck ? – Buck Benny ? – Oh never mind.)

2.  I enjoy visiting the only place on Earth that accepts as fare every single U.S. dollar coin ever minted since the Declaration Of Independence was ratified.

1.  I don’t have to deal with three very scary Expressways that always make me nervous and sweat – the Don Shula, the Palmetto, and the Dolphin. I’ve had many near-death experiences on all three of these highways over the past 20 years.