– This is the edition of the ‘Tossed Salad’ that nearly wasn’t.
– Allow me to briefly summarize my wild and crazy morning here.
– Phil Collins once sang “Something Happened On The Way To Heaven”.
– This morning I sang “Something Happened On The Way To Church”.
– A neighbour wanted a jump start from me at 7:30 AM.
– I said ‘Sure’, and I parked over next to him.
– He connected our two cars via his jumper cables.
– It didn’t work.
– When I went to pull out of the parking space I had no power steering !
– The message ‘PWR STR’ appeared under the speedometer.
– I could barely move my steering wheel with immense struggle.
– I think the jumper cable somehow blew out my power steering.
– It’s just a guess, as I really have no earthly idea how cars work.
– I called Saturn Roadside Assistance.
– They contracted with a tow truck operator in Homestead.
– My Saturn dealership is closed for service on Sunday.
– We know that because me, the tow truck driver, and my car went there.
– My car is now sitting in the tow truck storage yard until tomorrow.
– Meanwhile I’m now driving a rental car courtesy of Budget.
– It’s a fairly new Chevy Cobalt – silver in colour.
– It kinda sorta looks like my power steering-less Saturn.
– That Cobalt took me to Life Pointe Church about two hours late.
– Sorry Satan – You lose again.
– I attended the 10:30 AM service for the first time since last July.
– Rock star siblings Jesse and Alex led ‘Praise & Worship’.
– I got to serve Communion during the 2ND service.
– Pastor Travis led this morning’s teaching on ‘The Challenge Of Eternity’.
– I must live with an eternal perspective.
– I must recognize that I’m created for eternity.
– I must secure my eternity in Heaven.
– I must invest my Life in eternal pursuits.
– This morning’s teaching was based on the following 12 verses of the Bible:
– Colossians 3:2
– Jude 1:21
– Genesis 1:27
– Ecclesiastes 3:11
– Psalm 39:4
– John 3:16
– 2 Corinthians 5:1
– John 10:28
– Mathhew 25:21
– Matthew 6:19-20
– 1 Corinthians 9:25
– I’m glad that I was able to get to LPC this morning despite the difficulties.
– That’s where I belong every Sunday morning.
Month: March 2009
6 years ago in March of 2003 I went on Spring Break with my brother to the Tampa Bay area. My brother was actually there on business at first, and then it became a vacation for him as well. On my own I visited Tampa’s Lowry Park Zoo, The Florida Aquarium, and Florida International Museum. We spent a couple of nights at a hotel in Tampa followed by a couple of nights at a hotel directly on Clearwater Beach amongst other Spring Breakers. We were on vacation on the beach when Operation Iraqi Freedom began. Spring Breakers were out on their hotel balconies partying and singing in unison “Bombs Over Baghdad” (by Outkast). My brother often jokes that whenever he goes out-of-town on vacation major world events occur. This vacation was clearly no exception, but it was one of the best vacations that me and my brother shared together in our entire lives.
The soundtrack of my life from back in 2003 was almost exclusively European Trance, Techno, and House music. This was one of the biggest Techno jams from that era, and it’s one of my favourite tracks of all-time. It’s legendary Dutch DJ Ferry Corsten with his 2003 megasmash “Rock Your Body, Rock”.
A friend sent this to me via E-Mail. It cracked me up severely.
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For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, ‘If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.’
In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash … Twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you’d have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you’d have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would run on only 5% of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single ‘This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation’ warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask ‘Are you sure ?’ before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You’d have to press the ‘Start’ button to turn the engine off.
P.S. – When all else fails, you could call ‘customer service’ in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself !
Please share this with your friends who love – but sometimes hate – their computer !
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Be sure to catch an all-new ‘Saturday Night Retro’ later today right here on the big green blog, but until then – REMEMBER THIS !
Let it be known that the weekend has arrived. After 16 months in a row the saga that is the ‘Friday Night Blogroll Review’ continues …
– Travis wraps-up Sunday at Life Pointe.
– Kelly presents a special Thursday edition of her award-winning ‘Sunday CHICK-Kabob’, and despite not featuring a single picture of me in the mix (again) I still present to her this week’s Major Bloggie Award !
– You won’t catch my good friend P.J. wearing a soft yellow shirt, purple slacks, and a pink hat !
– My fellow 42-year-old friend Mark has a blog that has essentially evolved into a new type of ‘Drudge Report’ for Conservatives everywhere. Sometimes I get a headache reading his blogs (because they make me think too hard), but one blog entry stood out this past week, as I got to play with my toys known as numbers.
– Dude this jam from Jesse and The Saturn Project like totally rocks my face off ! This is how I rock and roll !
– Alex posted his TOP 5 favourite U.S. cities, and Miami is not one of them. It’s just not dope enough.
– Ritz reviews the hot new album ‘Anthems For A Broken World’.
– Let us all pray for Luci’s Dad.
– See Pastor Paul on Ms. Annie’s blog !
– My favourite Pastor in Weston kicks-off a fresh new message series on Easter Sunday, and it’s all about that one question that you would love to ask in church. I’ll be sending in a question of my own.
CountUp 